How likely would you be to answer this personals ad?

Oh this basement is the best. I like it so much I am here all the time. Won't you come join me? The couch is so comfy and I sit here for hours in my undershirt channel surfing. Usually I find nice surprises between the rolls of fat that swell out beneath my undershirt. Like one time I found a dorito in there. If you were with me, you could have it all for yourself! Actually I lied, none of that is true. Ok, now that i lowered your expectations you're going to like me even better! I'm guessing...